I love this painting. It is pure chaos. Just like life sometimes. I know people who seem to claim they have an answer for everything. I, however, am not one of them.

I am not certain how this happened, but recently I engaged in debate with two friends about who has experienced the most struggle in life. Weird debate, right? Both shared their stories with me and I wept. I lost the debates. It amazes me how those around me are brave enough to continue each day despite the hardships they endured as children and young adults. Stories of loss of parents through suicide, abandonment as young children, physical and emotional abuse, and more.

Sometimes people  feel there is no God because of all that seems to be wrong in the world. I admit I don’t have all the answers. I don’t think anyone will ever be able to make sense of things that just don’t make sense.

I don’t have an answer for why children get cancer, why mothers die young leaving their families, why houses burn down or floods happen. Why children are abducted, why murder happens as well as war. Why we choose to persecute those not like us. All the things that don’t make sense in life do not shake my belief in a God that loves us and promises to give beauty for ashes. (Isaiah 61.3) I have always held the opinion we have the opportunity to make our pain our pathway to God. I believe we can know Him a way we would never have been able to know Him without the pain that seems to be destroying our happiness.

In the midst of everything, He is always the Answer to everything. Even what does not make sense. He is still Good and Loving and Able to get us through everything and make us able to help those around us. I realized those that struggle with diabetes campaign passionately about diabetes. Those that have lost a loved one to Alzheimer’s passionately campaign for this disorder. Why does it take pain to move us to help those around us? I am not certain, however, the truth is I am passionate about the struggles I have faced in my quest to help those that also struggle with the same.

In the Bible, Job demands to talk to God. Job wants to tell God how unjust He has been and how the suffering has been greater than he was able to bear. God does talk to Job and gently asks Job if he created all we see around us? Are we smarter than God? No. He put all the world together, He knows all the past, present, and future events, He created the horse and the whale, and He is smarter, kinder, more loving, more creative, more everything than we can ever be. In the end of all things, we will understand. I suppose at that time, explanations will not even be an issue any longer.

I do not want to be accused of peddling easy answers to difficult questions, but for now, I pray we put our hands in the Hand of the Living God and continue to walk through each day, giving Him our struggles, our dreams, our happiness, our everything. We can trust the Man Who died for us so we can have beauty for the ashes we feel have come to us in this life.

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There are days I just don’t know how I am going to get it all  done – work, deadlines, visiting friends in nursing homes, caring for the home, pets, etc. Stress is a word. It seems I have a heavier ‘cross’ to carry than others. At moments, I am not sure I can bear up under the strain of everything and if someone adds one more thing to my already overloaded schedule, I feel I may just have some bad moments.

I look around and so many others seem to have it easy. They have enough money, enough time, happy families, and on and on. They do not seem to struggle much. I guess if I knew everything, I may think differently. It doesn’t take long to know everyone has concerns.

A friend shared a little story with me, a story of a girl who felt her ‘cross’ was heavier than those around her. When she slept, she was taken to a large room filled with crosses. There were large crosses and jewel adorned crosses and many others. In the corner was a small, plain cross. When the girl saw this little cross, she said, “I would like that one. I think I can manage that one small cross in the corner.” It was then she was then told that was the cross she had been carrying all along. This humbles me.

I ask God to show me my easy load as I watch others caring for disabled children, elderly family members struggling with dementia and other medical conditions, those living on small incomes, veterans returning with emotional concerns, and many other struggles.

I only need to walk the hallways of a hospital to see the faces of those worrying for the ones they love and those who have been given life changing test results. I only need walk the halls of detox centers to see the empty faces of those who do not know how to recover from addictions. I only need walk the streets to see the homeless and those who are lonely. I only need to visit the closest food bank to see ones who struggle to feed their children. I only need to take time to listen to others share with me about losing family when they were young, being raised by single moms, watching other families love each other and wondering why their family is different.

And when I do, my easy load no longer seems to be so overwhelming.  I want to be able to share with anyone struggling how Jesus knows their path and all they face each day and does not disregard them in any way (Isaiah 40.27) but wants to help in every way, every day. And God wants me to help others as much as I am able to make their load a little lighter.

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Birds in flight! How magnificent is that? Every time I see a bird in the air, I am astonished. I don’t know why, they have been flying forever. Their bodies are designed to be light enough for their wing span to lift them off the ground. Without an aviation class, they seem to know how to navigate the airways – the wind currents, the weather, and all – all without a GPS in wing.

As I look around, I see more wonders of  nature. Not only do I see birds traveling great distances without boundaries, I recently noticed large green ‘elephant ear’ – looking plants. I don’t know their names and could not believe how large the leaves were. They were taller and broader than a 6′ man. I am also amazed when I see palm trees bending to  hover over the ocean waters. Who could think of this? They are made of what look like tubular structures surrounded by an outer covering that make them strong and form their shapes. I love Joyce Kilmer’s poem – “I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree… poems are made by fools like me, but only God can make a tree.”

I have come to dislike the ants I see crawling everywhere and multiple other bugs that serve a purpose in our ecosystem, but they do intrigue me. Someone is studying bugs right this minute and loving every minute of it! How could this be? And there are so many bugs.

Then I think to myself, ‘What have I ever made?’ Have I made a bird that flies? Have I made an eye that sees? Have I made a nerve cell that carries information from one part of a body to another? Have I ever made something as stupendous as a heart that pumps blood a distance four times across the United States every day and yet rests 10-12 hours a day? No, the answer is no. I have not even made a blade of grass.

Nevertheless, even though I realize how small I am, I find myself instructing the One Who has made everything. I find myself telling Him I would do things differently. Oh how I am in desperate need of His mercy and love and understanding to this little child of His Who forgets that He put the stars in the sky and He names them and cares for the sparrow. He cares for you and me. I am thankful for His patience to remind me how big and awesome He is every day, all day.

The Words used to describe Him are Omnipotent -all powerful, Omnipresent – in all places, and Omniscient – all knowing. But what does He know? Not only does He know how to make the mighty oak tree and put whales in the ocean, He knows everything about us. He knows our every need. Our deepest longing. Everything that makes us feel secure or afraid or loved or even unloved. He knows every word that has ever hurt us deeply, made us feel unworthy, damaged our spirits.

He knows the hairs on our head and the dreams and desires we each have. He knows every word that has ever been written, every home that has ever been lost or made a home in, every time the weather threatens, each answer to every test, how to reach the ones we think are unreachable. Simply put- Everything -that is what He knows.

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If I had a nickel for every time I did something foolish or thoughtless or just plain ‘stupid,’ I’d be a very rich woman. Seems I cannot go a day without something. Most don’t know because I wisely don’t tell all my mishaps. In fact, I forgot some important items I meant to take to work today. No real big deal, but a real big inconvenience.

Sometimes it’s easy to have a tendency to freely given unsolicited advice on just how not to make mistakes each day. How to be more organized, less forgetful – perfect really. We even hear others shouting out ways to be better at just about everything. Easier to give advice than follow that advice.

Recently, I heard a cute little story. This story is about a young girl who took her homework to church. She enjoyed the service, but after it was over, she unintentionally forgot her homework in the church. She informed her mother of her situation. As they returned to retrieve the homework, her mother proceeded to scold her the entire way back to church. She told the young girl how she needed to be more responsible and make sure she did not forget important things like her homework. The little girl quietly listened as they drove along. When they arrived back at the church, the little girl went in to  find her homework. Soon, she came out of the church, walking with a happy and bouncy stride. She was smiling from ear to ear. The little girl had her homework in one hand and her mother’s purse in the other.

I must admit that was one cute little story. I was feeling sorry for the young girl being scolded for being distracted in church and making an innocent mistake. I wondered how her mom felt when she saw her purse being toted along with her daughter’s homework. Very funny. It all reminds me of how easy it is for me to hold others to a standard I do not always hold myself to. I do not have any stones to throw at anyone who finds themselves in a situation where things most likely could have gone better, but didn’t.

I want to take time to extend a gracious attitude to all those around me who are as imperfect as I am.

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Magic tricks are something that have always fascinated me. No matter how often I say I will not be tricked today, I still am. No matter how many times I say I will pay attention and not allow myself to be distracted, I still am. I am easy to fool that’s for sure. I can never figure out how the magician did the trick. I saw David Copperfield make a tiger appear. Great trick. But the truth is, that they are not real, they are truly tricks.

As fun as magic can be, I once heard someone say that the devil’s greatest trick was making people think he doesn’t exist. Interesting. We seem to live in a world that wants to embrace concepts such as this and suggest there is nothing ‘bad’ or nothing that we should refrain from. There is no ‘evil’ force. The world today wants to embrace that nothing is wrongful and if someone suggests something is wrong, then they are stoned for not having ‘tolerance.’ However, it seems most of our movies show the universal struggle between ‘Good’ and ‘evil.’ Star Wars – for instance – has Darth Vader and the ‘dark’ side. I see the good v. evil in most children’s movies and stories as well as adult themes and ‘Good’ wins.

I think the devil not only made many believe he doesn’t exist, another deception that he makes them believe there are no consequences to choices made today. Undoubtedly, he is a liar, a thief, an accuser, and his ways lead to certain death. He deceives by making things that are ultimately destructive to us look like ‘pleasure’ and that all is okay. The devil also subscribes to the thought process that obeying God is not necessary and is what losers do. We need only look at evil men – ISIS, Hitler, and many others to see the work of evil. Sometimes it is a little more subtle in our own lives. Choices that are not what God would want us make lead to the break up of homes, addictions, abuse, treating women in disgraceful ways, and many other life sabotaging actions.

Jesus, however, is Life. In fact, He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. (John 14.6) The exact opposite of the devil. Our Healer, Savior, Greater than any opposition. He set His rules – commandments – to protect us. I used to think the ‘rules’ were burdensome, but our Loving Father gave them to us because they are the ways that lead to life and prosperity and happiness. They are protective because God made us, He knows how to protect us and what ultimately hurts us. Holy isn’t a word we throw around much these days, but it is a word God uses to encourage us to life. Jesus knows all the tricks of the devil and has given us every reason to follow His teaching to have real life and happiness.

I choose to not be tricked by the devil, but believe God is my God, my Helper, my Deliverer, my Guide, my Source, my Friend, my Everything. God says to us He has put before us death and life – He encourages us to choose life. (Deut. 30.19) In everything we say and do, choose life and God’s way. It is the way to happiness, health, good things.

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I love the French language because it sounds so soft and romantic. For instance, the word ‘merci’ is sweet to me. When the Olympics were in France, I heard everyone on television saying, ‘merci.’ I wished I was there.

Merci – thank you. What a lovely translation. The word ‘merci’ also reminds me of the word ‘mercy’ – one of my other favorite words in English for an incredible gift God gives to me and everyone.

I think the word mercy is overused at times and poorly understood. I already said it is an incredible gift, but it seems I am stunned when I think about mercy, so I say it again. I want to really absorb the rich meaning and impact mercy has on my life and the life of the ones I love. In Webster’s, we find the meaning of the word ‘mercy’ to include ‘the discretionary power of a Judge to pardon someone  – compassion shown to an offender.’ This is ok, but not the deep and special meaning of the word to me. The faith filled meaning of the word is that God show us mercy – He pardons us and loves us even when we are not lovable.

I once heard the story of a woman whose son was sentenced to death for crimes he had committed. His mother pled for his life. She cried out, “Have mercy on my son.” The leader declared, “Your son does not deserve mercy!” She replied, “If he deserved it, it would not be mercy.” The leader was so touched by the woman’s words that he released the man.

Even though I am not a criminal sentenced to death in this life, I am a sinful woman who lives in a sinful world and at one time I was sentenced to eternal death. I did not and do not ‘deserve’ mercy. It is because of the mercy of God that I am alive today because I was in danger of ending my life over 30 years ago. Because of the mercy and grace of the Living God, I am physically alive as well as spiritually alive. I am ‘thankful.’ Thankful for mercy. I guess one could say merci for mercy. My heart is deeply touched by the mercy of God, so it allows me to see His mercy for the ones around me.

Each day I try to live the life I want God to be proud of, but I make many mistakes. Sometimes those around me are flawed and do things that are hurtful to themselves and others and me. God’s mercy is for all the things we cannot seem to do right every moment of every day. It is an awesome gift that is beyond my comprehension at times. No matter how many times we fail each day, He picks us up, dusts us off, and continues down the road with us.

Lamentations 3.22-23 tells us, “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning, great is His faithfulness.” Praise Him for all His wonderful gifts.

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Don’t we all love those days when everything goes right. Work is good, family is happy, lines at the store are short, you hit all the lights green, no flat tire today, you won a scratch off! Wow, life doesn’t get better. It is easy at these times – when things seem to go smoothly and our performance seems adequate – to think we are on God’s A-list and must be loved and valued.

Then there are those not-so-great days. Bad news at work, family struggling, bills mounting, taxes due,- and on and on the list may go.  It is these days – when we feel discouraged, we may tend to think we are not on God’s “A-list.” The truth is we are on God’s A -list each and every day. No matter how many mistakes we make or bad days we have, God is always our Father.

The ‘amazing’ thing is that our lives have always been and always will be about grace. Amazing Grace. The Bible tells us “It is by grace (God’s undeserved favor) that we are saved from any punishment or judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation….it is a gift from God.” We start in grace, we walk every day in grace, and we end our lives on this side of heaven because of grace. (Ephesians 2.7-10)

Another special part of the Bible encourages me more of how amazing grace is –  2 Corinthians 7-11 confirms that Moses’ face shown so much with the Glory of God when he came from Sinai with the law they had to put a veil over his face. They could not look at the brilliance. Now the law is passed – God’s Word continues to ask us ‘How much more glory is there in grace- that will never pass away?’  These Words touched my heart in such a real and personal way when I needed to realize the magnificence of His grace to me and everyone.

Sometimes I judge others harshly. I see them as unable to be more like God, happier, more positive, less ‘human’ to be honest. Frail. Failing to be perfect. Easy to point fingers at others when I should be pointing them at myself for the many mistakes I make each day. Then, I see God again as the Giver of Amazing Grace to me and the ones I judge incorrectly. God does not see them the tainted way I do.

No matter how many difficult days we have, God is in each and every moment. God is Love and Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love NEVER fails. (1 Corinthians 13) And we have Jesus – our High Priest – who is touched with the feeling of our infirmity – any inability to cope, any weakness, and inherent flaws – anything we struggle with. (Hebrews 4.15) Isn’t it wonderful that we have a Savior Who knows everything about us – the good, the bad, and the ugly- , loves us with an everlasting love beyond our comprehension, does not hold our shortcomings against us, and wants to have us as His children. It truly is Amazing Grace.

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Being born a long time ago makes me feel pretty old – especially when I meet someone born in 2002. Can you imagine not knowing who Fonzi is? Or not having seen the Monkies live on Ed Sullivan? Who’s Ed Sullivan some ask? Yes, I get it. I used to wonder what it was like in the 1920’s. There are those who remember.

That brings me to my current blog. I recently learned of the 1973 film Sleeper. I have never seen the film, but understand that in the movie, Woody Allen plays a character who wakes up 200 years after being frozen in a scientific experiment. He is given a stack of photographs from our century to identify. This prompts a series of hilarious one-liners. I’ll bet everyone who has ever looked at old photos can relate. In Sleeper, one of the photos was of the late Billy Graham. Woody Allen pauses, then says, “Billy Graham…claimed to have a personal relationship with God.” The audience, of course, cracks up. That is how absurd the idea sounds to many people. Especially in this ‘new’ age.

I think it’s pretty sad to think a relationship with God is absurd. I had a co-worker who wrote an email to my boss stating I was mentally ill for claiming to have a relationship with the Living God. The Bible outlines how Jesus came to us, was born a Baby, lived, did many miracles and taught people just like us, died, and rose from the grave so we could have a personal relationship with Him. The dictionary defines personal as ‘individual, private, as one’s own, intended for use by one person.’

There are many questions facing us today. Do we walk this walk alone? Is there an unseen Providence? Are our steps really ordered by the Lord? (Proverbs 20.24) Should we pray about things or just trust medication or the ‘new way’ of making ourselves feel valuable and with purpose? Michael W. Smith sings a song about Providence. Some of the words are, “The Hand of Providence, Oh, it’s evident, we could never make it on our own.” I see God in everything.

I know it is God’s intent that everyone know Him in a special and personal way – not in imagination about what He is like and Who He is, but in a real and personal way. In a way that pictures of us will prompt the on-looker to say, ‘They claimed to have a personal relationship with God.’ What a nice thing to say about someone.

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It’s not just because I am a veterinarian that I think pets are the most wonderful things we can have in our lives. My entire family moved 800 miles away and left me and my dog, Rudy, to take care of everything. What an unexpected turn of events. To be honest, at first, I was afraid to be alone where I had never lived alone. Rudy has surprised me and has been my faithful companion through it all. He has been quiet, but when needed, shows me he will not let anything or anyone hurt me – at least not without a fight from him. Feeling more safe is just one lovely thing a pet can bring us.

Studies have confirmed the benefits of pets. But all pet owners have always known this. Pets are more than just ‘dogs’ and ‘cats’ and whatever else is called ‘pet’ in your home. I have friends who lost spouses and their pets are their company, their happiness, their depression cure, and more. They talk to their pets, share meals (and don’t tell their veterinarians), watch TV with them, sleep with them, play with them, and many other activities.

Studies show that pets lower blood pressure, pet owners live longer, are happier, experience less depression, and heal faster when ill. To love a pet is not only to be healthier and happier, it is to have a pet that loves us too. Cat owners have 30% reduction in heart attacks. Pets normalize brain chemistry. This is why they are used for those struggling with post traumatic stress, autism, courtroom activities, and drug addiction. Having a pet to take care of helps with depression and a loss of meaning in life. It gives us something to look forward to. Interacting with a pet helps the brain and emotions better and faster than any medication. Anxiety and depression and stress are less – even in those that still choose unhealthy habits such as smoking or high fat diets.

Now, I take Rudy to work with me every day. When off a few days ago, I left him at home while I attended a camera class. When I arrived back home, one would have thought I was gone for 6 years instead of 6 hours. He jumped and played and was so happy to see me. The next morning, while getting ready for work, Rudy sat by the door near his harness – making certain he was not left at home. He never did this before.

Pets are living beings to have contact and interaction with that want to and have time for us. We truly rescue each other. So, we give thanks to the pets that bless our lives with happiness, love, and companionship.

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