Sometimes I catch myself saying, “Who am I?” On a good day, I would describe myself as being a pretty good person who is honest and kind and tries to help others as much as I can. I want to ‘walk’ my ‘talk’ of Christianity more than anything in this world. Then, sometimes, it seems there is another person living inside me. This other person is impatient, harsh, critical, and more. She comes out at the most surprising moments! Eeeee, how awful. And then, I feel like a hypocrite – one who professes to be something and then, the truth is, is not. Then comes the overwhelming feeling ‘I may have to go into hiding.”  


I am reminded of a precious scripture in Proverbs 24:16 – ‘for a righteous man falls seven times and rises…’ I ask myself, ‘why would a righteous man fall? And why so many times? I feel God responding, ‘because he/she is human.’ Yes, I am afflicted with the human condition. Is this an excuse? No, not really, but an honest truth. As long as I don human flesh, I will stumble and fall. I will be made to feel as though I have nothing to say because I am imperfect. 

The truth is that God knows I am imperfect. It is me that needs to know and realize more clearly each moment of life that grace is God’s undeserved favor and if I deserved mercy – it would not be mercy. My failure is not bigger than God’s love. My true sadness over my mistakes makes me realize the Love I have in my life that is Real and True. 

Love – how amazing is it? Well, the Word of God tells us – ‘ It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.’ (Lamentations 3.22-23)My failures bother me, but they do not hinder or lessen the love of God. 

Romans 8.38-39 lovingly reminds me ‘… I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.’ Not even my moments of hypocrisy. 

2 Timothy 2.13 assures me, ‘If we are faithless [do not believe and are untrue to Him], He remains true (faithful to His Word and His righteous character), for He cannot deny Himself.’ It is because Love is patient and kind, keeps no records of wrongs, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, Love never fails and (1 Corinthians 13) God is Love. (1 John 4.8)

I realize I have a huge responsibility to be true to the words God gives me and the life He has entrusted me with, but I am not alone in my shortcomings. Apostle Paul tells us – “For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” I am not alone in my struggle to not be a hypocrite. 

I not only need to accept God’s love and acceptance of me, but I need to forgive myself – even seventy times seven each day. (Matthew 18.22) If I fall, I need to get up, ask for forgiveness, dust myself off, and continue walking with the God I love. Because underneath me are the Everlasting Arms. (Deuteronomy 33.27) FOREVER. The story is about Him. God is the perfect One. Amen. 

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