The Road

 

 

 

Sometimes I am confident and know exactly where I am going in life and how I want to get there. Directions are clear and I am on my way. Sometimes, however, I feel I wander aimlessly. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make decisions or decide which road to take.

Sometimes my preoccupation with the cares and stresses of life cause me to drift along my path and away from my close relationship to and with the God I love. Work and family and farm life and trying to rearrange my career goals distract me from Him. These times are always empty for me. I am not meant to be far from God. My very life depends on my connection with Him. When I feel distant from God, Something deep inside makes me realize He has never left me and I feel Something calling me back to Him. I make haste to again became a pilgrim on a road back to my close encounters with God. Even in the midst of confusion about life’s direction at times, the one thing I am sure of is having a heart that sincerely wants to ‘Go with God.’

It is my sincere desire for “(God) to imprint His laws upon my mind, even upon my inner most thoughts and understanding, and engrave them upon my heart, and (for Him to) be my God and me His child.” (Hebrews 8.10).   I want “it to not be necessary for others to teach me for I will know Him myself…” (Hebrews 8.11).

The children of Israel were frightened by God and did not want to hear from Him directly, but asked Moses to hear from Him and tell them what He said. (Exodus 20.19). I always wanted  – and want now – to hear from Him directly. He promised to teach us, talk to us, walk with us, be with us. What a thrill! I want the complete experience.

While comparing versions of the Bible, the New International Versions tells us in Psalm 84.5 “Blessed are those whose strength is in (God), who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.” My amplified Bible for this verse states, “Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man whose strength is in (God), in whose heart are the highways to Zion.” A little note I added in the margin of my Bible reminds me, “the road to Zion is in my heart.” The road to Zion- the city of our God – where we meet with the God of the Universe- is in our hearts.

While it is true, on occasion, my heart has wandered in life, His grace has always grabbed me again and again. I strive to always have my life on track with the God I love, navigating between the ditches of life with the One Who guides every step, opens every door, provides for every need, teaches me everything. Our hearts’ pilgrimage are in His hands. We are being pursued by the God Who loves us. Make the road to Zion a determined path in your life to God.

Easter will be celebrated soon. The road to Zion is possible because of the Road to Calvary by our Savior.

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No Fear Here

 

 

 

 

I understand the Bible tells us not to fear 365 times. It is the most common ‘command’ in the Bible. Some say that it is one reminder each day of the year to ‘not fear.’ Why is it so hard to trust? I shouldn’t have, but I chuckled as I recently reviewed a journal entry from many years ago. I think I have come a little way along this journey of faith from where I was.

My journal entry referenced the verse 1 John 4.18:
“…. ‘fear has torment.’ What was it I feared?
I feared not getting better. I feared financial demise. I feared loneliness. I feared God would give up on me. I feared all the things I faced in life were too big for Him. I feared I did not have enough faith. I feared I would fail Him. I feared my fear. I feared my anger. I feared disappointing Him. I feared the future. I feared loss. I feared things I could never control. I feared. I feared. I feared-and I did have torment.

1 John 4.18 also says, ‘there is no fear in love – dread does not exist, perfect love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror!’

The wonderful truth is that God loves us. The bottom line was and is that all I could count on for sure is Jesus and His Word. If I truly believed what God’s Word says, there is no reason to fear. He is perfect Love and never fails us. How do we come to realize this everlasting love? (Jeremiah 31.3)

‘I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart and understanding may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people, and His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength He exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated Him at his right hand in the heavenly realms..’ (Ephesians 1.17-20) I pray this because when this becomes real inside of us, we will not fear.

Just as Jesus showed His scars to His disciples in John 20.19-20,       “…though the disciples were behind closed doors for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, Peace to you!…He showed them His hands and His side,” He shows His scars to me- the price He paid for my peace, my restoration, my provision, my answers to prayers, my favor, my success, my beloved relationship with Him, my deliverance, my happiness, and more.

This poem sums it up:

Said the Robin to the Sparrow,
“I would really like to know
Why these anxious human beings
Rush about and worry so.”
Said the Sparrow to the Robin,
“Friend, I think that it must be,
That they have no Heavenly Father
Such as cares for you and me.”

We do have a Heavenly Father, such as cares for the sparrows. ‘Don’t be afraid, because you are move valuable than many sparrows.’   Matthew 10.31.

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In the Blink of an Eye

We read to know we’re not alone. I am convinced this is true. I know I do.
While reading another writer’s posts, I stumbled upon a letter one of his readers sent him. It went:
I got inspired to write a poem about my late big brother. He passed on Christmas of 2017.
“…My brother.
You are gone, but you are not far away.
At the end of each day,
You are my last thought.
You are on the other side of my fear,
Therefore,
I have nothing to fear…”
I appreciate the sentiment in this short, but very sweet poem. My big brother passed in June, 2017. I do not have a poem, but he shared a song with me about ‘keeping him in my heart for a while.” The truth is I will keep him in my heart forever. Each of us loses ones we love eventually. When we do, we want to know we are not alone and that we will get through the loss.
While reading “The Chosen” by Chaim Potok, he shares this with his son:
‘Human beings do not live forever… We live less than the time it takes to blink an eye, if we measure our lives against eternity. So it may be asked what value is there to a human life. There is so much pain in the world. What does it mean to have to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than the blink of an eye?….I learned a long time ago,…that a blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is somethingA span of life is nothing. But the man who lives that span, he is something. He can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable though its quantity may be insignificant…..A man must fill his life with meaning, meaning is not automatically given to life. … A life filled with meaning is worthy of rest….”
It does seem like the blink of an eye that my brothers and my grandparents and the others that I love lived and shared time with me. It seems like a blink of an eye when I was young and sharing moments with my family and friends. Vacationing and having summers off from school. My big brother lived his life to the fullest and enjoyed the big moments in the Florida Keys and the small moments going to lunch and a movie, or eating in and watching TV together. In the blink of an eye, it is gone, but the memories remain. In the blink of an eye, I don’t hear his voice any longer, but I remember it. In the blink of an eye, it will be my turn to leave this world. I want to live a life filled with meaning like my brother and other loved ones did and live life to the fullest, like they did. In the blink of an eye, I will be reunited with all the ones I love. In the meantime, I will be with the ones I love here – to the fullest.
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Doubts

 

 

 

 

There are times I am so convinced about my faith, nothing could shake it. Then, sometimes, something comes along and the world falls apart around me. Doubts seem to happen when I least expect them.

I am in good company. John the Baptist was related to Jesus and they must have grown up together. John is the one prophesied to come before Jesus, declaring, “Prepare the way of the Lord.” He baptized Jesus. I think then he was certain Jesus was the Messiah. However, John was jailed and sentenced to death. He sent his friends to ask if Jesus really was the Messiah. Many called John the Baptist a great man of God. Now, he sat in prison, probably wondering why he wasn’t delivered. Wondering why he was going to die. Wondering if Jesus truly was the Messiah, why He didn’t come to save him. I love Jesus’ reaction- He never responded negatively to his question. He never berated his doubts. In fact, He told the men- and I think very compassionately – tell John ‘this and this.’ He wanted John to be assured. The answer was ‘Yes, Jesus is the Messiah.’

In addition to John, the children of Israel asked “Is the Lord among us or not?” (Exodus 17.7). They experienced God’s deliverance from Egypt, protection from plagues, guidance and provision along the way after deliverance, and the parting of the Red Sea. They still doubted. God still led them, protected them, provided for them, and loved them. Sometimes I have to remind myself of how God has always come through for me too.

I also relate to when Moses cried to God with doubts and frustration. Exodus 5. 22-23 tells me, “Then Moses turned again to the Lord and said, O Lord, why have You dealt evil to this people? Why did You ever send me? For since I came to Pharoah to speak in Your name, he has done evil to this people, neither have You delivered Your people at all.”

Moses knew and loved God so well he came with honest frustration and doubt. God did not rebuke Moses. He was not angry. The Bible tells us, “Then the Lord said to Moses, Now you shall see what I will do …. for …(God said) …I am the Lord … I have …established My covenant and I WILL bring you out from under the burdens … and I WILL rescue you with an outstretched arm … I WILL take you to Me … I WILL be to you a God: and you will know that it is I … and I WILL bring you into the land … I swore that I would give ….”

Sometimes we feel doubts may be met with disappointment from the Lord, but we can be encouraged that when we come with humility and honesty, God will walk with us in our doubts until our doubts are turned to faith. His love is stronger than our doubts. He is able to bear questions. He is able to understand frustrations. I have been waiting for years for miracles in the lives of the people I love. God has promised deliverance from drugs, loneliness, hopelessness, child abuse issues, and more. Sometimes I exclaim, ‘He hasn’t delivered them at all.’ I choose to continue in faith until God utters the words – ‘Now you will see what I will do.’

As I wait, I sing:

I will praise You all my life,
I will sing to You with my whole heart
I will trust in You, my Hope and my and Help
My Savior and my Faithful God
Oh Faithful God, My Faithful God
You give me life
You uphold my cause
You dry my eyes
You’re always near
You’re a faithful God.

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Memories

 

 

 

 

These are the ‘good old days!’ Every day is a chance to make new and exciting memories. I do enjoy my ‘old’ memories too, though and at times I would like to go back in time.

As I sit and look at photos of times and those I love gone by, I think how wonderful it is to have memories. We are our memories. I remember trips to the St. Joseph Peninsula in the panhandle of Florida each year. My sister would pick me up at the airport as she drove through Panama City on her way to the campgrounds. We laughed and talked and it never seemed as though a year went by. Mom and my other sister were already there waiting for us.

We carried our groceries in the cabin and then headed for the beach -over a large sand dune to our lonely umbrella on the gorgeous beaches on the Gulf of Mexico. Fearing sharks, we only swam a short distance into the ocean waters. Each night we ran to the boardwalk near the campground to catch the sunset and each morning, my early rising sisters, would enjoy the sunrise.

These memories along with other memories of shared time with family and friends have made my life the extraordinary journey that it has been. Days on the river with my brother. Trips to Key West and other places. Even time shopping with friends I have known for years and talking over lunch are treasured times. In addition to people I have shared time with are the animals that have made my life terrific. Horses, dogs, and cats have come and gone. They have loved me and I have loved them in a way that is beyond description.

I miss my little Dachshund named “Tilly” every day. She was always happy and ready to ride in the car and experience new adventures with me. Whether it was a new lake or woods we wanted to explore, or a new park, she was in. Watching her age and her time running out was heart breaking. They say we should not be sad that our time together is over, but glad that it happened. I am both, happy and sad at the same time. One day I will be the one who is missed.

I understand Albert Einstein said time travel is possible. Not sure where we are on that possibility, but I hear we are trying to send people to Mars. Sometimes, when I sit and think of treasured times, and if I could, I would time travel back and do all the wonderful things I have done in life all over again. Wouldn’t that be terrific? Maybe yes, maybe no. Going back would not allow me to make new and great memories today and I think that is exactly what I am going to do today- make some new and great memories and have fun doing so. Hope you do too.

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The Rope

 

 

 

 

Once I heard a story about a man walking down the road and happened upon a little robin lying on its back, with its feet sticking up in the air.

“Little Robin, why are you lying on your back in the middle of the road?” the man asked.
“The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” the Little Robin replied.
“But why are your feet sticking up in the air?” the man pressed.
“Because,” said the little bird, “one does what one can.”

As I laugh at the little bird thinking he could hold the sky in the sky with his little feet, I think of all the things I can do to help others in this world. It may sometimes seem as  impossible to help as holding the sky up, but I can pray, listen, talk, spend time, help them accomplish tasks, and more. Sometimes life becomes so challenging we may worry about our ability to make it through tough circumstances. Help – Divine and human-  is a welcome blessing in times of need.

My favorite author, CS Lewis, wrote in ‘A Grief Observed’ that “It does not matter what we believe until its truth or falsehood is a matter of life and death. It does not matter how strong the rope is until we need it to hold us.” It has always mattered to me that the God I love and believe in is the Living God and the Way to Heaven and real Life and is able to help at all times and in all circumstances. We have His Word on it.

The Bible tells me, “Yet amid all these things, we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loves us.” Romans 8.37

It’s funny to me that I have not heard many sermons taught from Job. Most talk about his sustaining faith under suffering. Some quote he was a ‘righteous man.’ (1.8) Some quote the profound utterances he made, such as “my Redeemer knows the way I take and when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (23.10) and “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” (13.13) And my favorite is how I am reminded ‘God restored double to him after his suffering.’ (42.10)

I truly love all these references to faith under heartbreaking and profound suffering.
I only wonder why many omit what I consider the ‘meat’ of this book. I see Job as a suffering and sometimes angry man.
Let me add some sample quotes:
“my spirit is broken, my days are spent..the grave is ready for me..” 17.1
“my complaint is bitter..” 23.2
“..but my eye pours out tears to God…” 16.20
“let me alone, so I may speak: and let come on me what may” 13.13
“I am weary of life and loathe it!” 10.1-22
“why did You bring me forth out of the womb?” 10.18
“why do You hide Your face…as if I were Your enemy.” 13.24
‘(is it because of sin?) 13.23
“surely I wish to speak to the Almighty, and argue.. that He may explain the conflict between what I believe of Him and what I see of Him.” 13.3
“Oh, that my impatience and vexation might be..weighed and all my calamity be laid up over against the other (to see if my grief is unmanly.) For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea..6.1-30

As I read Job, it appears to me this man is suffering to the deepest part of his being. I, like Job, aspire to say, “and He Who vouches for me is on high.” (16.19) And Job also exclaimed, “Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverance.” Job 13.16 (NIV)

I know heartache and suffering happens. God was Job’s rope and it was a matter of life and death to him if God was able to sustain him and bring him to a better place after his heartache and suffering ended. God is our Rope. He is our Deliverer. We can trust the Man Who died for us to be with us at all times and in all circumstances.

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Charcoal Fires

 

 

 

I love charcoal fires. The warmth and the crackling sounds remind me of slower times and easier days. I enjoy sitting around them talking, laughing, and sometimes singing with the sounds of frogs and insects in the background. I love roasting marshmallows and cooking over the fire. Once I was camping with a friend and we made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for three days over the coal fire. Yummy. Even thinking about the times around a charcoal fire invokes all the memories and emotions associated with those times.

There are only two times in the Bible when a charcoal fire is mentioned. The first time is in the middle of the night, when Jesus was being beaten and sentenced to death, Peter warmed himself by a charcoal fire and denied Jesus three times. (John 18.18.) Jesus knew Peter would deny Him and even told him so. Peter emphatically said he would never deny Jesus, but he did what he never wanted to do. Standing by that fire of coals, he denied he knew Him. Perhaps he was overwhelmed with the atrocity that was happening to the Savior, but when the rooster crowed, he had denied Jesus three times. Jesus not only knew the future events in Peter’s life, He knew Peter would need healing and restoration.

So, on that post resurrection morning, Jesus went to the sea where Peter and some others had gone back fishing. He built a charcoal fire on the beach and began cooking. (John 21.9) Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. How the smell and warmth of those coals must have burned in his mind as he remembered those moments and the sorrow for denying the Savior. But, the Great Psychiatrist took Peter back to the painful time and memories and Peter received healing and restoration.

Jesus has walked with all of us every day of our lives. There is no event He has not witnessed or been close to us during. He knows every hurt or disappointment or painful memory that has ever happened to each of His children and He wants us to be healed. He died on a Cross and rose from the dead to heal us. The Bible tells us ‘the punishment needful for us to obtain peace was put on Him.’ (Isaiah 53.5) When a situation ‘pushes buttons’ or creates anxiety in us or causes us to have uncomfortable memories, this is a signal there is some deep hurt that needs the touch of the Savior. It is these moments Jesus takes us back to the charcoal fires in our lives to touch those painful memories and restore us to Himself.

Like Peter, life bumps us and we hurt – sometimes very deep hurts and scars.  Sometimes we fall. Sometimes we are not people we wish we were. If we do not receive the touch of the Lord, these hurts may hinder us in relationships and happiness. Jesus knows.

Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him- I think because Peter denied Him three times. Exasperated with shame, Peter said, “Lord you know all things, You know I love You.” Jesus did know Peter loved Him, He knows we love Him, He knows we make mistakes and need His love desperately. I say this too, “Lord, You know I love You.” I pray for all of you to love Him too.

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Micheal and His Limousine

 

 

 

 

This place in Vienna looks spectacular. What a view there must be off the side of this mountain ledge. This photo makes me think all the world is sunny and happy and majestic. There are so many breathtakingly beautiful places to visit or live. Many hold special places in people’s hearts. I have heard of Fiji, Hong Kong, Sidney, London, Paris, the Grand Canyon, and many, many more places on Earth. Sometimes it isn’t even a ‘wonder-of-the-world-type’ place that means so much to us, sometimes it’s just home with loved ones.

I think this planet is amazing. There is a place for everyone. Some like the mountains, some the ocean waters. Some like the farm life, some the big city. I have loved many places. I lived in the city when I was young and enjoyed the noise and hustle and bustle of the activities there. I also lived on a farm and when I sat on my front porch looking at my three acre front yard and watching the cars go by, I felt only God knew I was there. My brother loved the rivers in Florida and considered the Florida Keys home. As great as this Earth is, I believe heaven is lovely and great beyond imagination. My brother went to heaven. I know he dines with the King and is in Paradise. I think he has found the rivers in heaven too.

My friend Joyce had a son with cystic fibrosis. His name is Michael. Everyone prayed and prayed for Michael to be healed. Even in the midst of faith, his condition worsened. One night, in a lonely hospital room in Cleveland, Ohio, he and his mother shared his last moments. He was barely able to breath, but he sat up in bed, looked at her, and said, “Mom, Jesus is here for me in my limousine.” Young Michael always wanted to ride in a limousine. Jesus knew. With tears in her eyes, her little boy looked at her and said, “You have to let me go, Mom.” He was only twelve.

She knew, but it hurt. I know the ones that have gone before us are truly happy and would never want to return to this Earth, but the holes in our hearts are great and the tears we cry are real. Sometimes there is comfort in knowing they are waiting for us and one day we will all be together again. Sometimes it is comforting to know that There the streets are gold, there is no need for the light because Jesus is the Light, there are no more tears, no more struggles, no fear, no lack, no sickness, – it is Paradise.

Until the day we join those that have gone before us, we keep loving and caring and struggling and helping each other make it through every day.

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Exhilarate

 

 

 

Exhilarate- means to enliven, invigorate, stimulate, make merry or cheerful. I wonder what it’s like to ride along the wild currents of a river filled with twists and turns and ups and downs that would, truthfully, take my breath away- for real- and I would die.  I think of extreme sports like bungee jumping, sky diving, or hang gliding that I am also convinced I would die doing. I watch the Olympics and see down hill skiing, figure skating, cross country horseback riding, etc. Such thrilling activities that would be ‘exhilarating.’ In the end, all I do includes sledding on small hills in the neighborhood in the winter time. Pathetic really.

When I was  a young girl, I read books about horses – the Black Stallion series by Walter Farley were my favorite. I am sure reading books allows most of us to enjoy experiences we will never actually participate in. As for the horses, I actually did ride and jump and race across fields at full speed on those gorgeous creatures I have always loved. I can say, there is nothing like the real thing. Don’t get me wrong, reading is and has been lovely, but really riding has made my life terrific.

My favorite author is CS Lewis. In the movie made of him and his soon-to-be wife, Joy Gresham, there were conversations about real experience v. reading about experiences. She felt personal experience trumped reading. He asked her if reading was a waste? She thought about it and said, “No,” however, she still felt if one had to choose, real experience was more valuable than just reading about experiences of others.

That being said, I know I will never run an army mission into enemy territory, so reading someone’s account of their experience helps me enjoy the memory and times experienced. I also do not think I will visit Paris or Vienna, but enjoy reading about them and dreaming of maybe visiting one day. So, I like to do things, but also like to read about things I find interesting.

I feel that friendship is something enjoyed more in real experience than to read about famous friendships like Gayle Sayers and Brian Piccolo. Their stories inspire me to be a better friend, but I treasure the friends and relationships I enjoy. I have the greatest friends and family that have been there for the good days and the difficult days, celebrated the wins and cried with me in the losses. They talk when I need someone to listen and I find it is wonderful to be a friend to them also.  I can talk about my friends all day long, but until you meet them, they will still be strangers to you.

The Bible talks about real experience as well. In 1 John 1:1-2, it tells us  ‘….(the followers of Jesus) are writing about the Word of Life – in Him Who existed from the beginning, Whom we have heard, Whom we have seen with our own eyes, Whom we have gazed upon for ourselves and have touched with our own hands. And the Life -an aspect of His being- was revealed (made manifest, demonstrated), and we saw [as eyewitnesses] and are testifying to and declare to you the Life, the eternal Life in Him Who already existed with the Father and Who [actually] was made visible (was revealed) to us – His followers….’ 

The most exhilarating experience I have ever had is knowing the Living God. I can share experiences over and over and, the truth is, He wants all of us to have personal experience with how exhilarating He is. He is real, He is waiting, and He wants to show each of us how Great and Wonderful He truly is.

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He’s Not Heavy, He’s My Brother

I am thinking I sound like a broken record these days-all about loving the struggling ones and walking an extra mile when the ones we love need us too. I have even had ‘comments’ about the repeated content in my blog comments. Not sure how to change the record at this time. Seems to be the topic on my heart and the one God seems to keep giving me.

But, that being said, I love this photo. The image is dear to me. A picture truly is worth a thousand words, and I can think of a thousand words. In fact, I made up this little story that I think of when I look at this picture:

A little girl in Thailand cares for her younger brother. They start each day with her making him breakfast- maybe nuts and some fruit. Then, she readies him for their day. First, she helps him clean. Then she dresses him in a little yellow hat, a blue and white shirt and red and blue colored shorts. Since he is too little to walk long distances and since he doesn’t have shoes to fit his little feet, she straps him to her back and carries him.

Off to work they go. They laugh and talk as they walk down the long dirt road that takes her to the fields she works in each day. Sometimes they sing songs. She never complains, she has just accepted that this is her ‘normal’ way of doing things each day. Her deep love for her brother makes carrying him seem like no work at all.

When finished, they walk home together. She carries her green stems in her hands and, again, her little brother on her back. He tries to play with the ends of the stems. She just keeps walking. They arrive at home, where she unstraps him from her back. They share their evening meal, play some, get ready for bed, and tell each other they love each other and are so blessed and glad to have each other. They rest and start the next day doing the same things as they do most days.

Yes, I could add dialogue and the games played and the meals made. I could add where their parents are, or are not-maybe they are cared for by Grandma. I could add the weather- sometimes fair, sometimes inclement. You can also add those details. The details I capture when I see this photo is the love of a little girl for her brother. Her dedication to him and tireless work that she does at such a young age. She teaches me about love. I hope you feel it too.

Another reason I love this photo is because it reminds me of all the times Jesus carried me. I have been no stranger to seasons of need, that’s for sure.

“I could be the greatest person in the world with many talents and give to the poor and sacrifice beyond human comprehension… but if I do not have love, I am nothing….. now there is faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love…”            1 Corinthians 13.

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